“Why are you wearing that shirt again?” My wife asked, in a tone that was unmistakably coy, meaning she knows the answer but wants me to admit it.

“It was there on top of the pile.” I replied in a defensive tone.

“No, it was not. I placed it at the bottom of the pile, just to observe what you will do.” She replied. Confirming my earlier assessment.

“You see,  I love this shirt!  I’m comfortable with it! Do people ask Steve Jobs why he wore Jeans and Turtlenecks every day? It was his style! And this is my style!”

“But you have other choices! There is yellow, red, orange, violet, green and other shades! Why always blue or white? Some shirts you have not worn at all! She continued, prolonging the argument.

“I have not chosen all those shirts.” It was either bought for me or were given to me as presents.”  End of discussion.

We make choices or decisions every day.  For most everyday activities, it is habitual or a reflex action.  Something automatic, done without thinking, from the time you wake up until the time you sleep.  What to do, how to do it what to wear and eat.  Nothing wrong with this.  We strive to make our life simple, stress free and thinking about every choices makes one tired and edgy at the end of the day.  Just take a look at professions that requires utmost concentration, race car drivers, air controllers, and surgeons.  Both mental and physical activities can be both tiring although the latter burns larger amount of calories, the former is more telling resulting in anxiety, depression, even suicidal tendencies.  So what most of us do is to create routines like they do in programming where repetitive actions do not require additional lines of instructions.  In the human body, ordinary everyday decisions do not reach the brain for answers, it becomes automatic, like auto pilot or cruise control.

Most of us when we meet a person for the first time, assess or try to place that person in a category, friendly, aloof, neat, organized?  Sane?  Especially if he or she will be going out with your kids .  You look for tattoos, ask seemingly innocent questions like school, or parents.  Look at the persons clothing shoes, possibly invite him for dinner for more evidence that he is not worthy. Again,  nothing wrong with this. Just like trying out for American Idol, you have to convince the judges within seconds or you are out.

Coffee, tea or chocolate ? Sugar , milk , or black? Do you still ask  yourself if you want to smoke or not or eat what is clearly bad for your health?

There is a saying that if you keep on doing the same thing over and over again why would you expect a different result? If you were travelling in a rut, meaning a narrow and predictable way of life, a furrow or track in a muddy road made by others before you, do you expect things to change?  This was what happened to my golf swing and my photography.

Having a lot of free time by being semiretired has made me reflect on many things and this has been one of them.  In my  desire to improve  my photography and golf in that order  had made me question everything that comes before pressing the shutter or starting a golf swing and in doing so learned more about myself than what I intended to achieve.

Before and After

I learned from the Masters, Rudy, Emil and Rey and still learning.  I became more patient, insightful, and open to other ideas.  I also learned from viewing all the entries in CCP contest and asking myself why this seemingly ordinary image bested my perceived POY (Photo of the Year) entry. Denial is usually the reaction of immature persons like me.   But gradually, reality prevailed. As you encounter disappointments and defeats you begin to form the inevitable conclusion , perhaps it is my fault. Then, the  real education begins.  One of the best ways to learn photography is to watch a master photographer at work, especially during OTS.  Rudy de Leon is an excellent example.  Many probees take behind the scenes shots (BTS) of members on OTS, but it will be more informative if someone will post the BTS side by side with the image  he shot and you will find out that what you see during the shoot was not the same image that Rudy shot.  Observe how deliberate his movements are, how many shots he take, how long he has to wait for the right light or moment.  You can even shoot the same scene and compare it with what Rudy shot, with digital you can immediately see the difference in composition, setting, DOF, angle of view.  It is like watching Tiger Woods or any other outstanding athlete or artist at work, simply mesmerizing!  You will also find out that Rudy has no use for a terabyte hard disk, or expensive camera and lens. Content is everything!

But this article is about choices.  Not just about Photography but other choices we make everyday.  Things, values and mannerisms we choose for ourselves.  I believe that to change for the better, you have to choose a path after careful deliberation and once you do after a while it becomes a habit or instinct and pretty soon you are in a rut.  But it will be a good rut, or simply a good habit.  Did Rudy choose  to eat corned beef and bread after tasting all the other food? I doubt it, but we will revisit this matter again in Bangkok.

So, If you feel bored and in a treadmill like a hamster, try this.  You usually take the same route going home, probably the shortest and with the least amount of traffic.  Why not take another route?  If you do, you will notice the new buildings, establishments, probably new shops and eateries on the way.  Your senses will be more alert and receptive seeing new things along the new old way.  Or you can take your coffee black, or drink water instead of cola or chew gum which is now a lot cheaper than cigarettes.  No need to go to Siem Reap to energize.  But join the Bangkok OTS and you will notice more new things

Perhaps, I will wear Red next meeting and sit somewhere else.